1.  Good chocolate is easy to find.
2.  "If you love me you'll swallow" has real meaning with chocolate.
3.  Chocolate satisfies even when it has gone soft.
4.  You can make chocolate last as long as you want it to last.
5.  If you bite the nuts too hard, the chocolate won't mind.
6.  The word "commitment" doesn't scare off chocolate.
7.  When you have chocolate, it doesn't keep your neighbors awake.
8.  You don't get hairs in your mouth with chocolate.
9.  You can ask a stranger for chocolate without getting your face slapped.
10. With chocolate, size doesn't matter; it's always good.

11. Chocolate is much, much cheaper.
12. You never have to marry choclolate
13. You're parents don't care what kind of chocolate you bring home
14. A chocolate rush can last for an hour
15. You can get ill from chocolate, but it goes away
16. Chocolate can get you sex, but not vice versa

17. Chocolate doesn't get a headache

Hop's #22 -- yeah!

#23 Chocolate doesn't have an ex-husband and 2 bratty kids, either

OK, good point. Chocolate isn't going to cause brats, your own or anyone else's, to appear in your home. But, vasectomy can take care of that too. I love chocolate. I'm definitely sticking with sex given these choices, no question.

Chocolate won't commiserate with you when you're down.
Chocolate won't celebrate with you when you're up.
Chocolate won't keep up it's end of the conversation.
Chocolate isn't warm and cuddly.
Chocolate isn't love.

And I thought I was the literal minded one here!