That's a new one on me. Here's one in return, though you may have heard it.
A guy walks into a bar ... (and it hurts, but this isn't that joke)
He points to a woman at the other end of the bar and says, "I'd like to buy that douche bag a drink."
Bartender: This is a respectable establishment. I will not have you referring to my customers that way.
Customer: I apologize. Please get that (ahem) lady whatever she'd like to drink.
Bartender: That's better. Please refrain from comments like your earlier one in the future.
Bartender to woman: The (ahem) gentleman at the other end of the bar would like to buy you a drink, what'll you have?
Woman: Tell him thank you. I'll have a vinegar and water ...
Whatever your cause, it’s a lost cause without population control. -- Paul Ehrlich